ROFLMAO!!!! Oh the humanity....I mean these people are plain retards >_>
Spoiler: fav.
Tech Support: "Use the right arrow key to move to the next field on the screen."
Customer: "You mean the 'Backspace' key?"
Tech Support: "No, ma'am, the right arrow key."
Customer: "You mean the 'Enter' key?"
Tech Support: "No, ma'am, the right arrow key."
Customer: "I don't have a right arrow key."
Tech Support: (head in hands) "Point to the space bar on the keyboard."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Now, move you finger to the right."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you find the left arrow key?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "The right arrow key is two more keys to the right."
Customer: "Oh, ok."
I'm a network administrator at a local school district, and I get some doozies.
Teacher: "My keyboard is broken."
Me: "What is it doing to make you think it's broken?"
Teacher: "When I go to type my password it doesn't type it right. No matter what I type, it's always a little star."
Me: "Yes, it is supposed to do that."
Teacher: "Well, how does it know if I get it right or wrong if it's always little stars!?"
Me: "It displays the asterisks so no one else can see your password."
Teacher: "That is stupid. I hate Bill Gates."
Back in the good old pre-PC days we sold a system that required the user to hit Ctrl-A in order to sign on. We sold one to some outfit in Canada. Well, trying to get them going over the phone took an hour. We'd say, "Hit Ctrl-A," and they'd say, "Ok, we hit Ctrl, eh? And nothing happened, eh?"
Me: "Type 'http://...'"
Him: "It didn't work."
Me: "Ok, read me the address you typed."
Him: "H-T-T-P-C-O-L-O-N--"
Me: "No, no. Colon, on the keyboard."
Him: "What?"
Me: "Do you know what a colon is?"
Him: "Of course I do. I am a doctor."
Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Wow these were pretty funny. Here are my favorites:
1) Is that the letter zero or the number zero
2) * Customer: "Uhh, I dont have a '7' key."
* Tech Support: "It's between the '6' and '8'."
* Customer: "I don't have a '7' key."
* Tech Support: "Do you see the '1' key?"
* Customer: "Yeah."
* Tech Support: "What's to the right of that?"
* Customer: "'2'."
* Tech Support: "And further right?"
* Customer: "'3', '4', '5', '6'."
* Tech Support: "What's the next one?"
* Customer: "'8'."
* Tech Support: "It should be to the left of the '8' and the right of the '6'."
* Customer: "Ohhhh, that '7' key."
3) * Him: "Where's the key for that line thing?"
* Me: "Huh?"
* Him: "You know, that one that looks like an upside down exclamation mark."
* Me: "You mean the letter 'i'?"
* Him: "Yeah, that's it!"
4) * Me: "Type 'http://...'"
* Him: "It didn't work."
* Me: "Ok, read me the address you typed."
* Him: "H-T-T-P-C-O-L-O-N--"
* Me: "No, no. Colon, on the keyboard."
* Him: "What?"
* Me: "Do you know what a colon is?"
* Him: "Of course I do. I am a doctor."
5) * Customer: "When I do F10, it doesn't work."
* Tech Support: "Can you open up that screen and try it?"
I heard three clicks on the keyboard.
* Customer: "See there, nothing."
* Tech Support: "Just try one button, the one marked F10. Do you see it? On the top row?"
* Customer: "How do I type all three letters with one key?"
* Tech Support: "No, look at the top row of keys. What do you see?"
* Customer: "Funny Squiggle Key, One Key, Two Key..."
* Tech Support: "Hang on, look at the row ABOVE that."
* Customer: "Um, wait, what is this?"
* Tech Support: "Read me what you see."
* Customer: "OK, here I see some F-ing keys."
* Tech Support: "These are the...F-ing keys I was talking about."
* Customer: "Which one do you want me to press?"
* Tech Support: "F10."
* Customer: "Is that an F1 and an F0?"
* Tech Support: "F0? Do you have an F0 key?"
* Customer: (mumble)
* Tech Support: "Skim over to the right, and you should see one marked F10."
* Customer: "Actually, I did. Will that work?"
* Tech Support: "Yes. Press it now."
* Customer: "On the left or right?"
* Tech Support: (???) "This isn't a mouse thing. Just press it."
* Customer: "Hey, it works!"
Our last receptionist called me to complain that the keys on her new keyboard were hard to push. She asked me to install a program to "soften up her keyboard keys.really amazing (i can't stop laughing)
Computer Stupidities -
Oct. 14th, 2009, 05:30 PM
Kyouraku Shunsui 8th Division Captain in The Gotei 13 FC
put the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. put the gun in my mouth it tastes so bitter..
Linear Mode
